A-Z Fun - Z-A Jokes

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To show the armadillo that it was possible.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To get away from Colonel Sanders!

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road twice?
A: Because it was a double-crosser.

Q: Why did the Iraqi chicken cross the road?
A: To take over the other side.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.

Q: Why did the chicken cross the beach?
A: To get to the other tide.

Q: Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
A: Chickens hadn't evolved yet.

Yo mama so fat when her beeper goes off, people thought she was backing up

Yo mama so fat her nickname is "Lardo"

Yo mama so fat she eats Wheat Thicks.

Yo mama so fat were in her right now

Yo mama so fat people jog around her for exercise

Yo mama so fat she went to the movies and sat next to everyone

Yo mama so fat she has been declared a natural habitat for Condors

Yo mamma so fat you haveta roll over twice to get off her...

Yo mama so fat she was floating in the ocean and spain claimed her for then new world

Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy

Yo mama so fat when you get on top of her your ears pop!

Yo mama so fat when she has wants someone to shake her hand, she has to give directions!

Yo mama so fat she goes to a resturant, looks at the menu and says "okay!"

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat, people said "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she had to go to Sea World to get baptized

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller

Yo mama so fat she got to pull down her pants to get into her pockets

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave, she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps, she brings down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat the highway patrol made her wear "Caution! Wide Turn"

Yo mama so fat when she sits around the house, she SITS AROUND THE HOUSE!

Yo mama so fat when she steps on a scale, it read "one at a time, please"

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says we don't do livestock.

Yo mama so fat her neck looks like a pair of hot dogs!

Yo mama so fat she's got her own area code!

Yo mama so fat she looks like she's smuggling a Volkswagon!

Yo mama so fat God couldn't light Earth until she moved!

Yo mama so fat NASA has to orbit a satellite around her!

Yo mama so fat whenever she goes to the beach the tide comes in!

Yo mama so fat when she plays hopscotch, she goes New York, L.A., Chicago...

Yo mama so fat she's got Amtrak written on her leg.

Yo mama so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her liposuction!

Yo mama so fat her legs is like spoiled milk - white & chunky!

Yo mama so fat I had to take a train and two buses just to get on the her good side!

Yo mama so fat she wakes up in sections!

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an amusement park, people try to ride HER!

Yo mama so fat she sat on a quarter and a booger shot out of george washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she rolled over 4 quarters and it made a dollar!

Yo mama so fat when she lies on the beach no one else gets sun!

Yo mama so fat when she bunje jumps she goes straight to hell!

Yo mama so fat when she jumps up in the air she gets stuck!!!

Yo mama so fat she's got more Chins than a Hong Kong phone book!

Yo mama so fat that her senior pictures had to be arial views!

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat everytime she walks in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo mama so fat she fell and made the Grand Canyon!

Yo mama so fat she sat on the beach and Greenpeace threw her in!

Yo mama so fat even her clothes have stretch marks!

Yo mama so fat she has a wooden leg with a kickstand!

Yo mama so fat she has to use a VCR as a beeper!

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg, and gravy poured out!

Yo mama so fat when she rides in a hot air balloon, it looks like she's wearin tights!

Yo mama so fat she got hit by a parked car!

Yo mama so fat they have to grease the bath tub to get her out!

Yo mama so fat she has a run in her blue-jeans!

Yo mama so fat when she gets on the scale it says to be continued.

Yo mama so fat when she wears a yellow raincoat people say "Taxi!"

Yo mama so fat she got to iron her pants on the driveway!

Yo mama so fat she put on her lipstick with a paint-roller!

Yo mama so fat when she tripped over on 4th Ave she landed on 12th

Yo mama so fat when she bungee jumps she pulls down the bridge too

Yo mama so fat she steps on a scale & it goes one at a time please

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it!

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck!

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.

Yo mama so fat when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

Yo mama so fat they use the elastic in her underwear for bungee jumping

Yo mama so fat when they used her underwear elastic for bungee jumping, they hit the ground.

Yo mama so fat when she back up she beep.

Yo mama so fat she jumped up in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she has to buy two airline tickets.

Yo mama so fat when she fell over she rocked herself asleep trying to get up again.

Yo mama so fat she influences the tides.

Yo mama so fat that when I tried to drive around her I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy fell out.

Yo mama so fat the animals at the zoo feed her.

Yo mama so fat she was baptized at Marine World.

Yo mama so fat she's on both sides of the family!

Yo mama so fat when she dances at a concert the whole band skips.

Yo mama so fat the Aids quilt wouldn't cover her

Yo mama so fat she stands in two time zones.

Yo mama so fat I tried to drive around her and I ran out of gas.

Yo mama so fat she left the house in high heels and when she came back she had on flip flops.

Yo mama so fat shes on both sides of the family

Yo mama so fat you have to grease the door frame and hold a twinkie on the other side just to get her through

Yo mama so fat when she goes to an all you can eat buffet, they have to install speed bumps.

Yo mama so fat that she cant tie her own shoes.

Yo mama so fat sets off car alarms when she runs.

Yo mama so fat she cant reach her back pocket.

Yo mama so fat when she wears one of those X jackets, helicopters try to land on her back!

Yo mama so fat her college graduation picture was an airial.

Yo mama so fat she lays on the beach and greenpeace tried to push her back in the water

Yo mama so fat she broke her leg and gravy poured out

Yo mama so fat she uses redwoods to pick her teeth

Yo mama so fat the only pictures you have of her are satellite pictures

Yo mama so fat she jumped in the air and got stuck.

Yo mama so fat she put on some BVD's and by the time they reached her waist they spelled out boulevard.

Yo mama so fat she sat on a dollar and squeezed a booger out George Washington's nose.

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo mama so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo mama so fat that when she sits on the beach, Greenpeace shows up and tries to tow her back into the ocean.....

Yo mama so fat that she would have been in E.T., but when she rode the bike across the moon, she caused an eclipse.

Yo mama so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo mama so fat she was baptised in the ocean.

Yo mama so fat she has to iron her clothes in the driveway.

Yo mama so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo mama so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo mama so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo mama so fat that when whe was born, she gave the hospital stretch marks.

Yo mama so fat we went to the drive-in and didn't have to pay because we dressed her as a Chevrolet

The penalty for jumping off a building is death.

Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 P.M.

A fine of $25 can be levied for flirting. This old law specifically prohibits men from turning around on any city street and looking "at a woman in that way." A second conviction for a crime of this magnitude calls for the violating male to be forced to wear a "pair of horse-blinders" wherever and whenever he goes outside for a stroll.

A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.

While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door.

A license must be purchased before hanging clothes on a clothesline.

It is against the law to throw a ball at someone's head for fun.

Carmel

A man can't go outside while wearing a jacket and pants that do not match.

Greene

During a concert, it is illegal to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalks.

New York

You may not smoke within 100 feet of the entrance to a public building.

Citizens may not greet each other by "putting one's thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers".

Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business.

It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing "body hugging clothing."

Ocean City

It is illegal for men to go topless in the center of town.

It is illegal to eat in the street in residential neighborhoods, and the only beverage you can drink on the beach is water in a clear plastic bottle.

Staten Island

It is illegal for a father to call his son a "faggot" or "queer" in an effort to curb "girlie behavior."

You may only water your lawn if the hose is held in your hand.

Riding a merry-go-round on Sundays is considered a crime.

Illegal for a man to give his sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds

You may not fish on a camel's back.

Boise

Residents may not fish from a giraffe's back.

Pocatello

A person may not be seen in public without a smile on their face.

A law passed in 1912 provided that "The carrying of concealed weapons is forbidden, unless some are exhibited to public view."

No person shall sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange, display or possess living baby chicks, ducklings, or other fowl or rabbits which have been dyed or colored; nor dye or color any baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits; nor sell, exchange, offer to sell or exchange or to give away baby chicks, ducklings or other fowl or rabbits, under two months of age in any quantity less than six, except that any rabbit weighing three pounds or more may be sold at an age of six weeks. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than $100 nor more than $500. -KRS 436.600 (Passed 1966 Ky. Acts ch. 215, sec. 5.)

It's illegal to fish in the Ohio River in Kentucky without an Indiana Fishing License.

Any person who displays, handles or uses any kind of reptile in connection withany religious service or gathering shall be fined not less than fifty dollars ($50) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100). -KRS 437.060 (Passed 1942, from Ky. Stat. sec. 1267a-1.).

All bees entering Kentucky shall be accompanied by certificates of health, stating that the apiary from which the bees came was free from contagious or infectious disease. -KRS 252.130 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1948)

No person owning or controlling a billiard or pool table shall permit, for compensation or reward, any minor under eighteen (18) years of age to play any game on the table, unless such minor shall have first displayed an identification card containing his name, age, photograph, and the signature of his parents or guardian. The minor shall keep such identification card on his person, and it shall be subject to inspection at any time by any peace officer. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall keep and maintain a registration book in which each minor shall sign. The person owning or controlling such billiard or pool table shall supply a blank identification card to each parent or guardian who makes request for same. Any person who violates this section shall be fined not less than ten ($10) nor more than one hundred dollars ($100) for each offense. -KRS 436.320 (Passed 1893; Amended in 1954, Ky. Acts ch. 232, sec. 1)

It is illegal to fish with a bow and arrow in Kentucky.

Any person who appears on any highway, or upon the street of any city that has no police protection, when clothed only in ordinary bathing garb, shall be fined no less than five dollars nor more than twenty-five dollars." - KRS 436.140 (Passed in 1922; Repealed in 1974)

Lexington

By law, anyone who has been drinking is "sober" until he or she "cannot hold onto the ground."

It is illegal to transport an ice cream cone in your pocket.

Owensboro

A woman may not buy a hat without her husband's permission.

it is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.

You may not slurp your soup.

If you have been convicted of driving while intoxicated, you may never again apply for personalized license plates.

It is against the law to "frown" at a police officer.

On a highway you can not park under a bridge.

Car dealerships are forbidden from opening on Sunday.

You cannot pump your own gas. All gas stations are full service and full service only.

Automobiles are not to pass horse drawn carriages on the street.

It is illegal to delay or detain a homing pigeon.

Bernards Township

It is illegal to frown as the town is a "Frown-Free Town Zone".

Caldwell

You may not dance or wear shorts on the main avenue.

Cranford

Citizens are not permitted to park their own boat on their lawn.

Cresskill

All cats must wear three bells to warn birds of their whereabouts.

Elizabeth

It is forbidden for a woman, on a Sunday, to walk down Broad Street without wearing a petticoat.

Manville

It is illegal to offer whiskey or cigarettes to animals a the local zoo.

Newark

It is illegal to sell ice cream after 6pm, unless the customer has a note from his doctor.

Ocean City

Pinball machines are not to be played on Sunday.

People may not slurp their soup.

Raw hamburger may not be sold.

Raritan

Profanity is prohibited.

Sea Isle City

There will be no boiling of bones on the property.

Trenton

Pickles are not to be consumed on Sundays.

You may not throw a bad pickle in the street.

It is illegal for a driver to be blindfolded while operating a vehicle.

Dominoes may not be played on Sunday.

You may not drive barefooted.

It is illegal to maim oneself to escape duty.

It is illegal to impersonate a person of the clergy.

Women are able to retain all property they owned prior to marriage in the case of divorce. However, this provision does not apply to men.

Masks may not be worn in public.

Putting salt on a railraod track may be punishable by death.

Boogers may not be flicked into the wind.

Bear wrestling matches are prohibited.

It is legal to drive the wrong way down a one-way street if you have a lantern attached to the front of your automobile.

Men may not spit in front of the opposite sex.

Incestous marriages are legal.

It is illegal to wear a fake moustache that causes laughter in church.

You must have windshield wipers on your car.

You may not have an ice cream cone in your back pocket at any time.

Anniston

You may not wear blue jeans down Noble Street.

Jasper

It is illegal for a husband to beat his wife with a stick larger in diameter than his thumb.

Lee County

It is illegal to sell peanuts in Lee County after sundown on Wednesday.

Mobile

It is unlawful to wear women's pumps with sharp, high heels.

It is unlawful to howl at ladies inside the city limits.

Montgomery

It is considered an offense to open an umbrella on a street, for fear of it spooking horses. (Repealed)

Alaska's More Important Laws

In Fairbanks it is considered an offense to feed alcoholic beverages to a moose.

While it is legal to shoot bears, waking a sleeping bear for the purpose of taking a photograph is prohibited.

It is considered an offense to push a live moose out of a moving airplane.

It is the state policy that emergencies are held to a minimum and are rarely found to exist.-Sec. 44.62.270. State policy.

Moose may not be viewed from an airplane

You may not have more than two dildos in a house.

Any misdemeanor committed while wearing a red mask is considered a felony. This goes back in the days of the Wild West.

There is a possible 25 years in prison for cutting down a cactus.

When being attacked by a criminal or burglar, you may only protect yourself with the same weapon that the other person posseses.

Hunting camels is prohibited.

Donkeys cannot sleep in bathtubs.

It is unlawful to refuse a person a glass of water.

Glendale

Cars may not be driven in reverse.

Globe

Cards may not be played in the street with a Native American.

Hayden

If you bother the cottontails or bullfrogs, you will be fined.

Maricopa County

No more than six girls may live in any house.

Mesa

It is illegal to smoke cigarettes within 15 feet of a public place unless you have a Class 12 liqueur license.

Mohave County

A decree declares that anyone caught stealing soap must wash himself with it until it is all used up.

Nogales

An ordinance prohibits the wearing of suspenders.

Prescott

No one is permitted to ride their horse up the stairs of the county court house.

Tucson

Women may not wear pants.

Tombstone

It is illegal for men and women over the age of 18 to have less than one missing tooth visible when smiling.

A man can legally beat his wife, but not more than once a month.

A law provides that school teachers who bob their hair will not get a raise.

Alligators may not be kept in bathtubs.

The Arkansas River can rise no higher than to the Main Street bridge in Little Rock.

Arkansas must be pronounced "Arkansaw"

A voter is only allowed five minutes to mark his ballot.

Fayetteville

Dogs may not bark after 6 PM.

It is illegal to kill "any living creature".

It is unlawful to walk one's cow down Main Street after 1:00 PM on Sunday.

No person shall sound the horn on a vechicle at any place where cold drinks or sandwiches are served after 9:00 P.M. -Little Rock City Code Sec. 18-54

Flirtation between men and women on the streets of Little Rock may result in a 30-day jail term.

Sunshine is guaranteed to the masses.

Animals are banned from mating publicly within 1,500 feet of a tavern, school, or place of worship.

Many animals are illegal to own as pets, including snails, sloths, and elephants.

Bathhouses are against the law.

In an animal shelter, lizards and snakes are treated under the same guidelines as cats and dogs.

No vehicle without a driver may exceed 60 miles per hour.

Women may not drive in a house coat.

It is a misdemeanor to shoot at any kind of game from a moving vehicle, unless the target is a whale.

Arcadia

Peacocks have the right of way to cross any street, including driveways.

Alhambra

You cannot leave your car on the street overnight without the proper permit.

Baldwin Park

Nobody is allowed to ride a bicycle in a swimming pool.

Belvedere

City Council order reads: "No dog shall be in a public place without its master on a leash."

Blythe

You are not permitted to wear cowboy boots unless you already own at least two cows.

Burlingame

It is illegal to spit, except on baseball diamonds.

Carmel

Ice cream may not be eaten while standing on the sidewalk. (Repealed when Clint Eastwood was mayor)

Women may not wear high heels while in the city limits.

Chico

Detonating a nuclear device within the city limits results in a $500 fine.

Downey

It is illegal to wash your car in the street. (Passed 1995).

Hollywood

It is illegal to drive more than two thousand sheep down Hollywood Boulevard at one time.

Lafayette

You are forbidden to spit on the ground within 5 feet of another person.

Lodi

It is illegal to own or sell "Silly String".

Lompoc

It is illegal to posses, own or raise roosters. This is considered disturbing the peace.

Long Beach

It is illegal to curse on a mini-golf course.

Cars are the only item allowed in a garage.

Los Angeles

Toads may not be licked.

You may not hunt moths under a street light.

It is a crime for dogs to mate within 500 yards of a church. Breaking this law is punishable by a fine of $500 and/or six months in prison.

You cannot bathe two babies in the same tub at the same time.

Zoot suits are prohibited.

It is illegal to cry on the witness stand.

It is illegal for a man to beat his wife with a strap wider than 2 inches without her consent.

Ontario

Roosters may not crow in the city limits.

Pacific Grove

Molesting butterflies can result in a $500 fine.

Palm Springs

It is illegal to walk a camel down Palm Canyon Drive between the hours of four and six PM.

Pasadena

It is illegal for a secretary to be alone in a room with her boss.

Prunedale

Two bathtubs may not be installed in the same house.

Redlands

Motor vehicles may not drive on city streets unless a man with a lantern is wallking ahead of it.

Riverside

One may not carry a lunch down the street between 11 and 1 o'clock.

San Diego

The owners of houses with Christmas lights on them past February second may be fined up to $250.

It is illegal to shoot jackrabbits from the back of a streetcar.

San Francisco

Persons classified as "ugly" may not walk down any street.

Prohibits elephants from strolling down Market Street unless they are on a leash.

It is illegal to pile horse manure more than six feet high on a street corner.

It is illegal to wipe one's car with used underwear.

San Jose

It is illegal to have more than two cats or dogs. -Ord. 7.08.595

Santa Monica

You may not play percussion instruments on the beach.

Temecula

Ducks have the right of way to cross Rancho California St. at all times

Tags may be ripped off of pillows and mattresses.

It is illegal to ride a horse while under the influence.

No liquor may be sold on Sundays or election days. (Repealed)

It is illegal for liquor stores to sell food or grocery stores to sell any alcohol except beer that is at most 3.2% alcohol.

Car dealers may not show cars on a Sunday.

Colorado Springs

It is permissable to wear a holstered six-gun within city limits, except on Sunday, Election Day, or holidays.

Crippe Creek

It is illegal to bring your horse or pack mule above the ground floor of any building.

Denver

You may not drive a black car on Sundays.

It is unlawful to lend your vacuum cleaner to your next-door neighbor.

It is illegal to mistreat rats in Denver, Colorado.

The dog catcher must notify dogs of impounding by posting, for three consecutive days, a notice on a tree in the city park and along a public road running through said park.

Durango

It is illegal to go in public dressed in clothes "unbecoming" on one's sex.

Logan County

It is illegal for a man to kiss a woman while she is asleep.

Pueblo

It is illegal to let a dandelion grow within the city limits.

Sterling

Cats may not run loose without having been fit with a taillight

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour.

In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce.

It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades.

You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays.

The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed)

It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway.

No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind.

Devon

It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset.

Guilford

Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display.

Hartford

You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday.

New Britain

It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire.

Southington

Silly string is banned.

Waterbury

It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.

It is illegal to fly over any body of water, unless one is carrying sufficient supplies of food and drink.

Lewes

It is illegal to wear pants that are "firm fitting" around the waist.

Getting married on a dare is grounds for an annulment

Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging.

It is considered an offense to shower naked.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!

You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers.

It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road.

Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner.

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays.

Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

It is illegal to skateboard without a license.

A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing.

Having sexual relations with a porcupine is illegal.

Big Pine Key

It is illegal to molest a Key deer. If caught one will be fined or will have to go to jail.

Cape Coral

It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline.

It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street. This law is limited to only those who do not own the house. (Repealed 2000)

Daytona Beach

Sec. 10-56. While intoxicated, under influence of narcotics, prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired. (Code 1955, � 28-64)

Sec. 18-2. Weeds, trash, etc., as a public nuisance; removal by property owner or by city at owner's expense; notice and hearing; lien for expenses. (a) The existence of weeds, trash, undergrowth, brush, filth, garbage or other refuse on any lot, tract or parcel of land within the city which has caused the property to become, or which may reasonably cause the property to become infested, or inhabited by rodents, vermin or wild animals, or may furnish a breeding place for mosquitoes or threatens the public health, safety or welfare, or may reasonably cause disease or adversely affects and impairs the economic welfare of the adjacent property, is declared to constitute a public nuisance and is hereby prohibited.

Sec. 22-44. Storage, depositing prohibited. It shall be unlawful for any person, either as owner, occupant, lessee, agent, tenant, or otherwise, to store or deposit, or cause or permit to be stored or deposited, any abandoned, junked or discarded motor vehicle or motor vehicles upon any public or private property within the city. (Code 1955, � 20-11)

The molestation of trash cans is banned.

Hialeah

Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor.

Sec. 3-1. Bird sanctuary declared. (a) It is hereby declared that all territory embraced within the corporate limits of the municipality shall be a bird sanctuary. (b) It shall be unlawful for any person within the municipality to shoot, trap or in any manner kill, wound or maim any bird of any kind, or at any time to throw at any birds of any kind any missile with slingshots or any other weapon, or to disturb their eggs or their young or their nests. (Ord. No. 8-59, �� 1, 2, 8-10-59)

Jupiter Inlet Colony Inlet

Key West

Chickens are considered a 'protected species'.

Miami

Sec. 8-3. Bell or other warning device. No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. (Code 1967, � 8-3; Code 1980, � 8-3)

It is illegal for men to be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown.

Pensacola

A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils.

It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel.

Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person.

Pinecrest

In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sec. 12-23. Registration required; application; transferability; false statements. (a)All persons must complete and submit to the village an emergency contact registration form for their alarm if they operate or cause to be operated an alarm system in the village. A separate registration is required for each alarm system. Upon receipt of a completed registration form, the police department shall issue a numbered alarm sticker to the applicant to facilitate retrieval of registration information. (Ord. No. 97-17, � 1, 10-14-97)

Sanford

Stage nudity is banned, with the exception of "bona fide" theatrical performances. Violating this ordinance results in a $100 fine.

Sarasota

You may not catch crabs.

If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00.

Tampa Bay

It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

Members of the state assembly cannot be ticketed for speeding while the state assembly is in session.

Donkeys may not be kept in bathtubs.

Signs are required to be written in English.

You have the right to commit simple battery if provoked by "fighting" words.

No one may carry an ice cream cone in their back pocket if it is Sunday.

It is illegal to use profanity in front of a dead body which lies in a funeral home or in a coroners office.

Acworth

All citizens must own a rake.

Atlanta

Against the law to tie a giraffe to a telephone pole or street lamp.

One man may not be on another man's back.

Columbus

Can't cut off a chicken's head on Sunday.

It is illegal to carry a chicken by it's feet down Broadway on Sunday.

Gainesville

Chicken must be eaten with the hands.

Jonesboro

It is illegal to say "Oh, Boy"

Kennesaw

Every head of household must possess a firearm of some kind.

Marietta

Though it is illegal to spit from a car or bus, citizens may spit from a truck.

St. Mary's

No spitting on the sidewalk is permitted after dark.

Quitman

Cars are not to drive on sidewalks.

It is illegal for a chicken to cross the road.

Coins are not allowed to be placed in one's ears.

All residents may be fined as a result of not owning a boat.

Honolulu

Within the limits of any public park, it is unlawful to annoy any bird. (SEC. 10-1.2)

The English language is not to be spoken.

You may be arrested for vagrancy if you do not have at least one dollar bill on your person.

You must contact the police before entering the city in an automobile.

You may be convicted of a Class 4 felony offense, punishable by up to three years in state prison, for the crime of "eavesdropping" on your own conversation. -720 ILCS 5/14-2.

Chicago

It is illegal to give a dog whiskey.

In the Pullman area, it is illegal to drink beer out of a bucket while sitting on the curb.

Law forbids eating in a place that is on fire.

Kites may not be flown within the city limits.

It is forbidden to fish while sitting on a giraffe's neck.

Spitting is forbidden

It is legal to protest naked in front of city hall as long as you are under seventeen years of age and have legal permits.

Champaign

One may not pee in his neighbor's mouth.

Cicero

Humming on public streets is prohibited on Sundays.

Crete

Cars may not be driven through the town.

Des Plaines

Wheelbarrows with For-Sale signs may not be chained to trees.

Eureka

A man with a moustache may not kiss a woman.

Evanston

It is illegal to go trick-or-treating on Halloween.

Bowling is forbidden.

It is unlawful to change clothes in an automobile with the curtains drawn, except in case of fire.

Fairfield

It is unlawful for "negroes" to be within county boundries from sundown to sunrise.

Freeport

It is illegal to expectorate from any second-story window.

Galesburg

There is a $1,000 dollar fine for beating rats with baseball bats.

Homer

It is against the law to use a slingshot unless your are a law enforcement officer.

Joliet

Town fathers, reflecting the pet peeve of hearing their town's name mispronounced 'Jolly-ETTE' when all local folk know it's pronounced 'Joe-lee-ETTE', made pronouncing it Jolly-ette a misdemeanor, punishable by a $5 fine.

Kenilworth

A rooster must step back three hundred feet from any residence if he wishes to crow. Hens that wish to cackle must step two hundred feet back from any residence.

Kirkland

Bees are not allowed to fly over the village or through any of Kriland's streets.

Moline

Ice skating at the Riverside pond during the months of June and August is prohibited.

There is a ban on unnecessary repetitive driving on 23rd Avenue.

Morton Grove

You may not own a handgun

Normal

It is against the law to make faces at dogs.

Orland Prak

No pool tables are allowed in a public establishment, because it supports gambling.

Ottawa

Spitting on the sidewalk is a criminal offense.

Park Ridge

Trucks may only park inside closed garages.

Peoria

Basketball hoops may not be instaled on a driveway.

Zion

It is illegal for anyone to give lighted cigars to dogs, cats, or any other domesticated animals.

One man may not back into a parking spot becasue it prevents police officers from seeing the license plate.

Baths may not be taken between the months of October and March.

All males 18 to 50 years old must work six days a year on public roads.

Mustaches are illegal if the bearer has a tendency to habitually kiss other humans.

Hotel sheets must be exactly 99 inches long and 81 inches wide.

State government officials who engage in private duels can be dismissed from their post.

Drinking from your own bottle in a bar can lead to your arrest.

A man over the age of 18 may be arrested for statutory rape if the passenger in his car is not wearing her socks and shoes, and is under the age of 17.

It is illegal to sell cars on Sunday.

Drinks on the house are illegal.

It is illegal for a liquor store to sell cold soft drinks.

A person who dyes, stains, or otherwise alters the natural coloring of a bird or rabbit commits a Class B misdemeanor. (Ind. Code 15-2.1-21-13(b)

Smoking in the state legislature building is banned, except when the legislature is in session.

Liquor stores may not sell milk.

Check forgery can be punished with public flogging up to 100 stripes.

Grocery stores may not sell any type of cold liquor.

You can get out of paying for a dependent's medical care by praying for him/her.

Pedestrians crossing the highway at night are prohibited from wearing tail lights.

No one may catch a fish with his bare hands.

Men are prohibited from standing in a bar.

You are not allowed to carry a cocktail from the bar to a table. The waiter or waitress has to do it.

"Spiteful Gossip" and "talking behind a person's back" are illegal.

You are required to pour your drink into a glass.

It is against the law to pass a horse on the street.

If any person has a puppet show, wire dancing or tumbling act in the state of Indiana and receives money for it, they will be fined $3 under the Act to Prevent Immoral Practices.

Anyone 14 or older who profanely curses, damns or swears by the name of God, Jesus Christ or the Holy Ghost, shall be fined one to three dollars for each offense, with a maximum fine of ten dollars per day.

A three dollar fine per pack will be imposed on anyone playing cards in Indiana under the Act for the Prevention of Gaming.

The value of Pi is 4, and not 3.1415. (Repealed)

Auburn

It is illegal to bike, roller-skate, skateboard, or inline skate in a commercially zoned area. For these offesnses, there is a fine of no more than $5 or the impounding of one's bicycle for a period not to exceed 30 days.

Beech Grove

It is forbidden to eat watermelon in the park.

Elkhart

It is illegal for barbers to threaten to cut off kid's ears.

Evansville

While driving on Main Street you may not have your lights on.

Fort Wayne

You may not sell or play on a radio broadcast, the record "It`s In the Book".

Gary

Within four hours of eating garlic, a person may not enter a movie house, theater, or ride a public streetcar.

South Bend

It is illegal to make a monkey smoke a cigarette.

Terre Haute

No one may spit on the sidewalk

It is a violation of the law to sell or distribute drugs or narcotics without having first obtained the appropriate Iowa drug tax stamp.

A man with a moustache may never kiss a woman in public.

Kisses may last for no more than five minutes.

One-armed piano players must perform for free.

Dubuque

Any hotel in the city limits must have a water bucket and a hitching post in front of the building.

Indianola

The "Ice Cream Man" and his truck are banned.

Fort Madison

The fire department is required to practice fire fighting for fifteen minutes before attending a fire.

Marshalltown

Horses are forbidden to eat fire hydrants

Ottumwa

Within the city limits, a man may not wink at any woman he does not know.

If two trains meet on the same track, neither shall proceed until the other has passed.

The state game rule prohibits the use of mules to hunt ducks.

Looking for more dumb laws? Check out DumbLaws.com!

Rabbits may not be shot from motorboats.

No one may catch fish with his bare hands.

Pedestrians crossing the highways at night must wear tail lights.

Dodge City

It is illegal to spit on a sidewalk.

All places of business must provide a horse water troft

Lawrence

No one may wear a bee in their hat.

All cars entering the city limits must first sound their horn to warn the horses of their arrival.

Russell

Musical car horns are banned

Salina

It is against the law to leave your car running unattended.

Topeka

The installation of bathtubs is prohibited.

Wichita

Any person caught using or carrying bean snappers or the like shall upon conviction, be fined. -City ordinance 349 of Wichita, Kansas.

Before proceeding through the interesection of Douglas and Broadway, a motorist is required to get out of their vehice and fire three shot gun rounds into the air.

It is illegal to gargle in public places.

It is illegal to rob a bank and then shoot at the bank teller with a water pistol.

Biting someone with your natural teeth is "simple assault," while biting someone with your false teeth is "aggravated assault."

New Orleans

It illegal for a woman to drive a car unless her husband is waving a flag in front of it.

You may not tie an alligator to a fire hydrant

Shotguns are required to be taken to church in the event of a Native American attack.

You may not step out of a plane in flight.

After January 14th you will be charged a fine for having your Christmas decorations still up.

Augusta

To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law.

Portland

Shoelaces must be tied while walking down the street

Thistles may not grow in one's yard.

Baltimore

No person who is a "tramp" or "vagrant" shall loiter in any park at any time. They define tramp as a person who roves for begging purposes and a vagrant as an idle person who is able-bodied living without labor. It's a $50 fine. I guess the tramp would have to beg for the money to pay the fine. -Park Rule 6

It's illegal to take a lion to the movies.

It's illegal to throw bales of hay from a second-story window within the city limits.

It is a violation of city code to sell chicks or ducklings to a minor within 1 week of the Easter holiday.

It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. $10 fine. This would include joggers that go shirtless. (1898)

Baltimore City

You may not curse inside the city limits.

Though you may spit on a city roadway, spitting on city sidewalks is prohibited.

Columbia

Though clotheslines are banned, clothes may be draped over a fence.

You can not have a antenna exposed outside of your house yet you can have a 25' satellite dish.

Ocean City

Eating while swimming in the ocean is prohibited.

A law from the early 1900's prohibits men from going topless on the Boardwalk. (Repealed)

Children may smoke, but they may not purchase cigarettes.

Taxi drivers are prohibited from making love in the front seat of their taxi during their shifts.

Affiliation with the Communist party is illegal.

No gorilla is allowed in the back seat of any car.

Bullets may not be used as currency.

Alcoholic drink specials are illegal.

Massachusetts liquor stores can only open on Sundays if they are in Berkshire, Essex, Franklin, Middlesex or Worcester counties and are within 10 miles of the Vermont or New Hampshire borders.

It's illegal to drive Texan, Mexican, Cherokee, or Indian cattle on a public road. (MGL Chapter 129 Section 35)

Tomatoes may not be used in the production of clam chowder.

Hunting on Sundays is prohibited.

It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath.

At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches.

Public boxing matches are outlawed.

It is unlawful to injure a football goal post, doing so is punishable by a $200 fine.

It's illegal to keep a mule on the second floor of a building not in a city unless there are 2 exits. (MGL Chapter 272 section 86)

It's illegal to sell fewer than 24 ducklings at a time before May 1, or to sell rabbits, chicks, or ducklings that have been painted a different color. (MGL Chapter 272 Section 80D)

It's illegal to allow someone to use stilts while working on the construction of a building. (MGL Chapter 149 Section 129B)

Defacing a milk carton is punishable by a $10 fine.

It is illegal to frighten a pigeon.

An old ordinance declares goatees illegal unless you first pay a special license fee for the privilege of wearing one in public.

All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (Repealed)

Tattooing and body piercing is illegal. (Repealed October 2000)

Quakers and witches are banned.

Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.

It is illegal to reproach Jesus Christ or the holy ghost. (MGL Chapter 272 section 36)

Boston

No one may take a bath without a prescription.

It is illegal for any citizen to own more than three dogs.

An old law prohibits the taking of baths on Sunday.

Duels to the death permitted on the common on Sundays provided that the Governor is present.

Women may not wear heels over 3 inches in length while on the common.

Anyone may let their sheep and cows graze in the public gardens/commons at any time except Sundays.

No more than two baths may be taken within the confines of the city.

No one may cross the Boston Common without carrying a shotgun in case of bears.

It is illegal to play the fiddle.

Two people may not kiss in front of a church.

It is illegal to eat peanuts in church.

Burlington

You may not walk around with a "drink".

Cambridge

It is illegal to shake carpets in the street, or to throw orange peels on the sidewalk (section 12.16.100).

It costs $50 extra for a permit for hurling, soccer or Gaelic football games in a public park on a Sunday. (section 12.20.030)

Hingham

You may not have colored lights on your house if it can be seen from Main Street. Only white lights may be visible.

If you live on Main Street and want to paint your house, the colors must be approved by the historical society.

Hopkinton

Though horses and cows are allowed on the common, dogs are prohibited.

Longmeadow

It is illegal for two men to carry a bathtub across the town green.

Marlboro

One may not detonate a nuclear device in the city.

Silly string is illegal in the city limits.

It is illegal for any citizen to own more than two dogs.

It is illegal to buy, sell or possess a squirt gun.

Milford

Peeping in the windows of automobiles is forbidden.

Newton

All families must be given a hog from the town's mayor.

North Andover

An ordinance prohibits the use of space guns.

Woburn

In bars, it is actually illegal to "walk around" with a beer in your hand. (Repealed)

You may not swear in front of women and children in the state of Michigan.

It is legal for a robber to file a law suit, if he or she got hurt in your house.

A woman isn't allowed to cut her own hair without her husband's permission.

Any person over the age of 12 may have a license for a handgun as long as he/she has not been convicted of a felony.

There is a 10 cent bounty for each rat's head brought into a town office.

Clawson

There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.

Detroit

Alligators may not be tied to fire hydrants.

It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. According to history and animal husbandry, it prevents them from "rooting" in the ground for their food.

Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.

It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.

Grand Haven

No person shall throw an abandoned hoop skirt into any street or on any sidewalk, under penalty of a five- dollar fine for each offense.

Harper Woods

It is illegal to paint sparrows to sell them as parakeets.

Kalamazoo

It is against the law to serenade your girlfriend.

Rochester

All bathing suits must have been insp